Who I'm writing for

You're the person who takes care of others– but you're wondering who is left for you to turn to. You're the type of person who other people turn to for help. Other people think you have it all together. You're terrified of letting people down– because then they might find out your terrible secret... that you're fallible. You don't have unlimited energy– though you wish so very desperately you did. That you don't have unlimited patience. That you struggle with your own worries, and wish so deeply that someone else would notice and take care of you for a change.

You struggle to remain present, despite downloading at least three different meditation apps. (The irritating, intrusive popup app reminders made you eventually delete them, as you didn't need yet another reminder that you're falling short on yet another idealistic goal.) You want to remain present and in the moment as you parent, as you work, as you enjoy time with a friend. And yet your mind– that busy, anxious, whirring mind of yours– stubbornly insists on taking you out of the moment at the times that you wish so desperately to remain focused.

You care about being a good person. You sign up to support all the right causes. You donate to charity. You volunteer for the jobs and committees that no one else will do. You follow a spiritual practice or faith tradition– whether it's the one you were brought up in, or one you've adopted later in life– to try to give yourself a stronger moral compass and sense of purpose. You think about how to spend your time, your money, your focus, your attention, on the right things. And yet in the quiet hours of the late evening or early morning, when the rest of the house is asleep and you have a moment with your own thoughts, you find that you're just as full of dark thoughts and impulses as you ever were. Envy creeps in. Sloth. A bit of gluttony on the side. Impatience. Anger.

I'm writing...

• For the caretakers who are teetering on the edge of burnout.
• For the worriers. (Especially for those quiet, responsible ones who stuff the worries down and valiantly pretend they're not there.)
• For the would-be meditators who get grumpy with their own failed attempts to maintain a regular practice.
• For the kindly, conscientious ones who would never dream of being as hard on a friend as they are on themselves.
• For the high achievers who feel like they're failing no matter how hard they succeed.
• For all of us who are trying (and failing) to be our best selves on a daily basis.

Does this sound like you? Welcome to Quiet Depth. This is a soft place to land. 🌿